Universal Members

Saying No Kindly and Clearly

An assertiveness worksheet with four ways to say no and space to script responses to difficult requests, rating discomfort afterwards.

1-page fillable PDF · US Letter (prints on A4) · Assertiveness

Key facts

Approach / concern
Universal
Technique
Assertiveness
Format
Fillable PDF, 1 page (US Letter / A4)
Access
Pro and Advanced plans (3-day free trial)
For
Licensed clinicians to use with clients
Updated
October 2026

What is the Saying No Kindly and Clearly?

Assertive refusal protects personal boundaries and wellbeing. Prepared scripts reduce anxiety and the urge to over-explain or give in.

Why it works

DBT interpersonal effectiveness teaches saying no while maintaining relationships and self-respect (Linehan, 2015). Self-compassion supports tolerating others’ disappointment (Neff, 2003).

When to use it

  • People-pleasing
  • Burnout
  • Boundary-setting
  • Workplace demands

How to use it in session

  1. Learn the styles.
  2. Identify hard requests.
  3. Write scripts.
  4. Practise aloud.
  5. Notice discomfort fading.

Clinician tips

  • Start with low-stakes requests.
  • Role-play in session.
  • Expect some discomfort.

Worked example

Request: covering a colleague’s shift again. Script: ‘I can’t this time, but I hope you find someone.’ Discomfort: 5.

Sharing with clients

Members can download the PDF to print or email, or copy a private client link from the download box. Your client opens the link and downloads the worksheet on any device. No client account is needed, and nothing your client writes is stored on TherapyAid.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need to give a reason when I say no?

No. A brief, kind no is enough.

What if they get upset?

Their feelings are theirs to manage; you can be kind and still keep your no.

References

Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101.

This worksheet is an educational tool for use by, or under the guidance of, a licensed or registered mental-health professional. It is not a diagnostic instrument or a substitute for clinical judgement. If a client is in crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.