Rules for Living & Assumptions
A CBT worksheet for identifying rules for living and conditional assumptions, their origins, benefits and costs, then writing and testing more flexible alternatives.
1-page fillable PDF · US Letter (prints on A4) · Cognitive restructuring
- Approach / concern
- CBT
- Technique
- Cognitive restructuring
- Format
- Fillable PDF, 1 page (US Letter / A4)
- Access
- Pro and Advanced plans (3-day free trial)
- For
- Licensed clinicians to use with clients
- Updated
- October 2026
Key facts
What is the Rules for Living & Assumptions?
Rules for living (dysfunctional assumptions) are conditional beliefs and demands, often phrased as ‘if… then…’ or ‘I must…’, that connect core beliefs to everyday behaviour. They often develop to cope with negative core beliefs.
Why it works
In the cognitive model of low self-esteem, rules for living protect against core beliefs but keep them alive by setting rigid standards (Fennell, 1997). Identifying and revising rules is a key treatment step (Fennell, 2016).
When to use it
- Low self-esteem
- Perfectionism and people-pleasing
- Anxiety and depression
- Core belief and schema work
How to use it in session
- Identify rules from ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’ and if-then statements.
- Explore origins and functions.
- Weigh benefits and costs.
- Write flexible alternatives.
- Test new rules with experiments.
Clinician tips
- Rules often surface through the downward arrow.
- New rules should be realistic, not reversed extremes.
- Testing in real life strengthens change.
Worked example
Sharing with clients
Members can download the PDF to print or email, or copy a private client link from the download box. Your client opens the link and downloads the worksheet on any device. No client account is needed, and nothing your client writes is stored on TherapyAid.
Frequently asked questions
How are rules different from core beliefs?
Core beliefs are absolute statements (“I’m unlikeable”); rules are conditional guidelines for living with them (“If I please everyone, they’ll like me”).
Can rules ever be helpful?
Flexible guidelines can be helpful. Problems arise when rules are rigid and extreme.
References
Fennell, M. J. V. (1997). Low self-esteem: A cognitive perspective. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 25(1), 1-26.
Fennell, M. (2016). Overcoming low self-esteem (2nd ed.). Robinson.
This worksheet is an educational tool for use by, or under the guidance of, a licensed or registered mental-health professional. It is not a diagnostic instrument or a substitute for clinical judgement. If a client is in crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.
