Sharing the Household and Mental Load
A couples worksheet listing visible and invisible household tasks, current and future ownership, and a shared definition of fairness.
1-page fillable PDF · US Letter (prints on A4) · Couples · Problem-solving
- Approach / concern
- Couples & Relationships
- Technique
- Couples · Problem-solving
- Format
- Fillable PDF, 1 page (US Letter / A4)
- Access
- Advanced plan
- For
- Licensed clinicians to use with clients
- Updated
- October 2026
Key facts
What is the Sharing the Household and Mental Load?
Perceived fairness in household labour, including cognitive and emotional labour, is linked to relationship satisfaction. Making invisible work explicit supports collaborative problem-solving.
Why it works
Dyadic coping research shows how couples share stress and tasks affects functioning (Bodenmann, 2005). Structured problem-solving is a core component of relationship education (Markman et al., 2010).
When to use it
- Conflict about chores
- New parents
- Dual-career couples
- Resentment and burnout
How to use it in session
- List all tasks, including planning.
- Note current owner.
- Assign full ownership.
- Define fairness.
- Review monthly.
Clinician tips
- Own the whole task, including remembering.
- Avoid scorekeeping.
- Consider paid help or dropping tasks.
Worked example
Sharing with clients
Members can download the PDF to print or email, or copy a private client link from the download box. Your client opens the link and downloads the worksheet on any device. No client account is needed, and nothing your client writes is stored on TherapyAid.
Frequently asked questions
What is the mental load?
The invisible work of noticing, planning and remembering what needs doing.
Does fair mean 50/50?
Not necessarily. Fair means both partners agree the balance works, given work hours and preferences.
References
Bodenmann, G. (2005). Dyadic coping and its significance for marital functioning. In T. A. Revenson, K. Kayser, & G. Bodenmann (Eds.), Couples coping with stress: Emerging perspectives on dyadic coping (pp. 33-49). American Psychological Association.
Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. L. (2010). Fighting for your marriage (3rd ed.). Jossey-Bass.
This worksheet is an educational tool for use by, or under the guidance of, a licensed or registered mental-health professional. It is not a diagnostic instrument or a substitute for clinical judgement. If a client is in crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.
