GIVE: Keeping Relationships Strong
A DBT interpersonal effectiveness worksheet for the GIVE skills, with a planning table for an upcoming conversation and space to reflect on the outcome.
1-page fillable PDF · US Letter (prints on A4) · Interpersonal effectiveness
- Approach / concern
- DBT
- Technique
- Interpersonal effectiveness
- Format
- Fillable PDF, 1 page (US Letter / A4)
- Access
- Pro and Advanced plans (3-day free trial)
- For
- Licensed clinicians to use with clients
- Updated
- October 2026
Key facts
What is the GIVE: Keeping Relationships Strong?
GIVE is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill focused on relationship effectiveness: maintaining or improving a relationship during interactions through gentleness, interest, validation and an easy manner.
Why it works
Relationship effectiveness skills help clients balance getting their needs met with keeping relationships healthy, and are part of the DBT interpersonal effectiveness module (Linehan, 2015).
When to use it
- Conflict with important people
- Clients who come across as harsh or defensive
- Couples and family communication
- DBT skills groups
How to use it in session
- Introduce each GIVE element.
- Choose an upcoming conversation.
- Plan specific behaviours for each skill.
- Role-play in session.
- Review the outcome.
Clinician tips
- Validation doesn’t mean agreement.
- Pair with DEAR MAN for requests.
- Easy manner should fit the context; humour isn’t always appropriate.
Worked example
Sharing with clients
Members can download the PDF to print or email, or copy a private client link from the download box. Your client opens the link and downloads the worksheet on any device. No client account is needed, and nothing your client writes is stored on TherapyAid.
Frequently asked questions
What’s the difference between GIVE and DEAR MAN?
DEAR MAN focuses on getting what you want; GIVE focuses on protecting the relationship. They’re often used together.
Does validating mean I agree?
No. Validation means showing you understand their perspective, even if you see it differently.
References
Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training handouts and worksheets (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
This worksheet is an educational tool for use by, or under the guidance of, a licensed or registered mental-health professional. It is not a diagnostic instrument or a substitute for clinical judgement. If a client is in crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.
