CBT Members

Double Standard Technique

A CBT worksheet guiding clients to compare their self-talk with what they would say to a friend, examine the double standard and craft a fairer self-statement.

1-page fillable PDF · US Letter (prints on A4) · Cognitive restructuring

Key facts

Approach / concern
CBT
Technique
Cognitive restructuring
Format
Fillable PDF, 1 page (US Letter / A4)
Access
Pro and Advanced plans (3-day free trial)
For
Licensed clinicians to use with clients
Updated
October 2026

What is the Double Standard Technique?

The double standard technique, popularized by David Burns, invites people to notice that they judge themselves more harshly than they would judge others, and to apply the same compassionate, realistic standard to themselves.

Why it works

It’s a simple, widely used cognitive restructuring method for self-criticism and perfectionism (Burns, 1999; Leahy, 2017).

When to use it

  • Self-criticism and perfectionism
  • Guilt and shame
  • Depression with harsh self-talk
  • Teens and adults

How to use it in session

  1. Write the situation and self-talk.
  2. Imagine a friend in the same position.
  3. Write what you’d say to them.
  4. Explore why the standards differ.
  5. Craft a fairer self-statement.

Clinician tips

  • Choose a specific, real friend for vividness.
  • Notice resistance (“But it’s different for me”) and explore it.
  • Pair with self-compassion work.

Worked example

Self-talk: “I’m a terrible mother for losing my temper.” To a friend: “You’re exhausted and doing your best; you can repair it.” To myself: “I’m a caring mom who had a hard moment.” Distress 8 → 4.

Sharing with clients

Members can download the PDF to print or email, or copy a private client link from the download box. Your client opens the link and downloads the worksheet on any device. No client account is needed, and nothing your client writes is stored on TherapyAid.

Frequently asked questions

Why is it easier to be kind to others?

We often believe self-criticism keeps us motivated, and we see others’ circumstances more fully than our own.

Is this just letting myself off the hook?

No. It’s about fair, realistic judgement, which supports accountability without shame.

References

Burns, D. D. (1999). The feeling good handbook (Rev. ed.). Plume.

Leahy, R. L. (2017). Cognitive therapy techniques: A practitioner’s guide (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

This worksheet is an educational tool for use by, or under the guidance of, a licensed or registered mental-health professional. It is not a diagnostic instrument or a substitute for clinical judgement. If a client is in crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.