Making Sense of My Story (Earned Security)
An attachment-informed reflection on early relationships, their influence, alternative attachment figures, current understanding and relational goals.
1-page fillable PDF · US Letter (prints on A4) · Attachment-informed
- Approach / concern
- Attachment
- Technique
- Attachment-informed
- Format
- Fillable PDF, 1 page (US Letter / A4)
- Access
- Pro and Advanced plans (3-day free trial)
- For
- Licensed clinicians to use with clients
- Updated
- October 2026
Key facts
What is the Making Sense of My Story (Earned Security)?
Earned security refers to secure attachment states of mind in adults with difficult early experiences, often associated with a coherent, reflective narrative about the past.
Why it works
Roisman et al. (2002) studied earned-secure attachment and its developmental correlates. Attachment security can be strengthened through relationships and therapy (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016).
When to use it
- Insecure attachment patterns
- New or expecting parents
- Childhood adversity
- Long-term therapy
How to use it in session
- Reflect on early relationships.
- Explore impact.
- Identify caring figures.
- Note new understanding.
- Set relational goals.
Clinician tips
- Pace carefully with trauma histories.
- Validate pain without requiring forgiveness.
- Highlight resilience.
Worked example
Sharing with clients
Members can download the PDF to print or email, or copy a private client link from the download box. Your client opens the link and downloads the worksheet on any device. No client account is needed, and nothing your client writes is stored on TherapyAid.
Frequently asked questions
What is earned security?
Developing a secure way of relating as an adult, despite insecure early experiences.
Do I need to forgive my parents?
No. Understanding isn’t the same as excusing or forgiving.
References
Roisman, G. I., Padrón, E., Sroufe, L. A., & Egeland, B. (2002). Earned-secure attachment status in retrospect and prospect. Child Development, 73(4), 1204-1219.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
This worksheet is an educational tool for use by, or under the guidance of, a licensed or registered mental-health professional. It is not a diagnostic instrument or a substitute for clinical judgement. If a client is in crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.
