Getting to Know You Better: Couples Questions
A couples worksheet with ten conversation questions designed to build curiosity, understanding and closeness, with space to record what each partner learns.
1-page fillable PDF · US Letter (prints on A4) · Couples connection
- Approach / concern
- Couples & Relationships
- Technique
- Couples connection
- Format
- Fillable PDF, 1 page (US Letter / A4)
- Access
- Advanced plan
- For
- Licensed clinicians to use with clients
- Updated
- October 2026
Key facts
What is the Getting to Know You Better: Couples Questions?
Structured, progressively personal questions can foster closeness between people. Regularly updating knowledge of a partner’s inner world, their worries, hopes and preferences, is also considered important in long-term relationships.
Why it works
An experimental procedure using escalating self-disclosure questions increased interpersonal closeness (Aron et al., 1997). Knowing a partner’s inner world is described as a foundation of strong relationships (Gottman & Silver, 2015).
When to use it
- Couples who feel disconnected or routine-bound
- Date nights and relationship maintenance
- Premarital counselling
- After stressful periods such as new parenthood
How to use it in session
- Choose a relaxed, distraction-free time.
- Take turns asking and answering.
- Listen without debating.
- Note what you learned.
- Repeat regularly with new questions.
Clinician tips
- Start with lighter questions if conversation is tense.
- Follow-up questions show interest.
- Not a substitute for addressing major conflict.
Worked example
Sharing with clients
Members can download the PDF to print or email, or copy a private client link from the download box. Your client opens the link and downloads the worksheet on any device. No client account is needed, and nothing your client writes is stored on TherapyAid.
Frequently asked questions
How often should we do this?
Once a week or on date nights works well for many couples.
What if a question leads to an argument?
Pause, acknowledge feelings, and return to it later or with a therapist if needed.
References
Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R. D., & Bator, R. J. (1997). The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: A procedure and some preliminary findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363-377.
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work (Rev. ed.). Harmony Books.
This worksheet is an educational tool for use by, or under the guidance of, a licensed or registered mental-health professional. It is not a diagnostic instrument or a substitute for clinical judgement. If a client is in crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.
