Good-Enough Sex: Realistic Expectations
A couples worksheet replacing unrealistic sexual expectations with realistic, flexible ones, defining good-enough intimacy and planning responses to disappointing experiences.
1-page fillable PDF · US Letter (prints on A4) · Couples sex therapy
- Approach / concern
- Sex Therapy
- Technique
- Couples sex therapy
- Format
- Fillable PDF, 1 page (US Letter / A4)
- Access
- Advanced plan
- For
- Licensed clinicians to use with clients
- Updated
- October 2026
Key facts
What is the Good-Enough Sex: Realistic Expectations?
The Good-Enough Sex model promotes realistic, positive and flexible sexual expectations, valuing variability and intimacy over performance.
Why it works
Metz and McCarthy (2007) describe the Good-Enough Sex model for couple sexual satisfaction. Nagoski (2021) addresses cultural myths that create pressure.
When to use it
- Performance pressure
- Long-term couples
- After illness, ageing or children
- Perfectionism about sex
How to use it in session
- List unrealistic expectations.
- Write flexible alternatives.
- Define good-enough intimacy.
- Plan responses to misfires.
- Revisit.
Clinician tips
- Normalize variability.
- Include non-intercourse intimacy.
- Use humour.
Worked example
Sharing with clients
Members can download the PDF to print or email, or copy a private client link from the download box. Your client opens the link and downloads the worksheet on any device. No client account is needed, and nothing your client writes is stored on TherapyAid.
Frequently asked questions
Is good-enough sex settling?
No. Realistic expectations reduce pressure and often increase satisfaction.
What if one of us wants more?
Discuss desires openly; good-enough sex includes curiosity and growth.
References
Metz, M. E., & McCarthy, B. W. (2007). The “Good-Enough Sex” model for couple sexual satisfaction. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 22(3), 351-362.
Nagoski, E. (2021). Come as you are: The surprising new science that will transform your sex life (Rev. ed.). Simon & Schuster.
This worksheet is an educational tool for use by, or under the guidance of, a licensed or registered mental-health professional. It is not a diagnostic instrument or a substitute for clinical judgement. If a client is in crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.
