Becoming a Parent: Identity Shifts
A perinatal worksheet exploring the identity shifts of becoming a parent, including losses, discoveries, changing relationships, messages about 'good parenting' and self-care.
1-page fillable PDF · US Letter (prints on A4) · Identity · Transition
- Approach / concern
- Perinatal & Postpartum
- Technique
- Identity · Transition
- Format
- Fillable PDF, 1 page (US Letter / A4)
- Access
- Pro and Advanced plans (3-day free trial)
- For
- Licensed clinicians to use with clients
- Updated
- October 2026
Key facts
What is the Becoming a Parent: Identity Shifts?
The transition to parenthood involves profound physical, psychological and social changes, sometimes called matrescence or patrescence. Ambivalence and grief for one’s previous life are common and often unspoken.
Why it works
Pregnancy and the postpartum period involve significant neurobiological and psychological adaptation (Barba-Muller et al., 2019). Normalizing identity changes and supporting self-care can reduce shame and support perinatal mental health (O’Hara & McCabe, 2013).
When to use it
- New parents adjusting to parenthood
- Parents feeling guilt or ambivalence
- Adoptive and non-birthing parents
- Perinatal support groups
How to use it in session
- Normalize mixed feelings about parenthood.
- Explore each card at the client’s pace.
- Examine ‘good parent’ messages and expectations.
- Identify something just for the parent.
- Screen for perinatal mood concerns.
Clinician tips
- Include partners and non-birthing parents.
- Watch for signs of postpartum depression or anxiety.
- Cultural expectations of parenting vary widely; explore them.
Worked example
Sharing with clients
Members can download the PDF to print or email, or copy a private client link from the download box. Your client opens the link and downloads the worksheet on any device. No client account is needed, and nothing your client writes is stored on TherapyAid.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to miss my old life?
Yes, very. Grieving aspects of your pre-parent life is common and doesn’t mean you don’t love your child.
When should I seek help?
If low mood, anxiety or intrusive thoughts persist for more than two weeks or interfere with daily life, talk to your doctor or therapist.
References
Barba-Muller, E., Craddock, S., Carmona, S., & Hoekzema, E. (2019). Brain plasticity in pregnancy and the postpartum period: Links to maternal caregiving and mental health. Archives of Women’s Mental Health, 22(2), 289-299.
O’Hara, M. W., & McCabe, J. E. (2013). Postpartum depression: Current status and future directions. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 9, 379-407.
This worksheet is an educational tool for use by, or under the guidance of, a licensed or registered mental-health professional. It is not a diagnostic instrument or a substitute for clinical judgement. If a client is in crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.
