Grief, Guilt & ‘What Ifs’
A grief worksheet for examining 'what if' and 'if only' thoughts using hindsight-aware questions, imagined words from the loved one and symbolic amends.
1-page fillable PDF · US Letter (prints on A4) · Grief · Cognitive
- Approach / concern
- Grief & Bereavement
- Technique
- Grief · Cognitive
- Format
- Fillable PDF, 1 page (US Letter / A4)
- Access
- Pro and Advanced plans (3-day free trial)
- For
- Licensed clinicians to use with clients
- Updated
- October 2026
Key facts
What is the Grief, Guilt & ‘What Ifs’?
Guilt and regret are common in bereavement, often involving hindsight bias, as if we should have known then what we know now. Gently examining these thoughts can reduce self-blame while honouring the relationship.
Why it works
Guilt in bereavement is common and associated with more intense grief; a conceptual review describes its forms and impact (Li et al., 2014). Addressing guilt is part of grief counselling (Worden, 2018).
When to use it
- Bereavement with self-blame
- Sudden or traumatic deaths
- Caregivers after a death
- Suicide loss (with specialized care)
How to use it in session
- Normalize guilt as part of grief.
- List ‘what if’ thoughts.
- Explore what was known at the time.
- Develop compassionate perspectives.
- Consider symbolic amends or rituals.
Clinician tips
- Hindsight bias is a key concept to explain.
- Suicide loss survivors need specialized, sensitive support.
- Don’t rush to dismiss genuine regrets; explore repair.
Worked example
Sharing with clients
Members can download the PDF to print or email, or copy a private client link from the download box. Your client opens the link and downloads the worksheet on any device. No client account is needed, and nothing your client writes is stored on TherapyAid.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to feel guilty after someone dies?
Yes. Guilt is very common in grief and often reflects love and the wish that things had been different.
What if I really did make a mistake?
Acknowledging it, expressing regret and finding ways to honour the person can help. Self-compassion supports healing.
References
Li, J., Stroebe, M., Chan, C. L. W., & Chow, A. Y. M. (2014). Guilt in bereavement: A review and conceptual framework. Death Studies, 38(3), 165-171.
Worden, J. W. (2018). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (5th ed.). Springer Publishing.
This worksheet is an educational tool for use by, or under the guidance of, a licensed or registered mental-health professional. It is not a diagnostic instrument or a substitute for clinical judgement. If a client is in crisis in Canada, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.
